Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Another Day of Freedom

Okay well 3 hours of it.

Today is better, for me mentally, at least. Ryley cried when she sat on the stairs waiting for her class to arrive. Her teacher asked me to give her one more hug. I did and she was just sitting on that step in a kind of ball, crying. It was the saddest sight. I scooped her up and just hugged her and hugged her. She's so brave. It's got to be so hard to be separated from people that you eat, sleep and breath with, hell you even poop and pee at the same time as these people! One of the other teachers came over to cuddle her so I could leave and the day could start. It was sad. I saw the boys at the bottom of the other steps and they were just giggling and having a grand time. Have I made a big mistake separating them so soon? Should I have kept them together for this first year? Should I have separated the boys? Oh the guilt! I'm sure after this week she'll be better.

So on to my freedom. Yesterday, I came back to the house and had left the Disney Channel on. I guess I needed to "hear" kids! Today, not so much. I can definitely get in to this bit of freedom a couple times a week. I got my Starbucks, hit the grocery store and am back here enjoying that coffee and the bagels and cream cheese I bought. I have on my favorite channel and I'm just gonna kick back and not feel so lonely. I'm gonna enjoy it dammit! So far I am. I have less than an hour left, so today will be an ease in to freedom day. I can definitely get used to this. Having time to recharge and just regroup before jumping back in to the daily grind. This is good for me and for them. I know this. But I miss them.

3 comments:

Amy said...

When do you turn into the crazy hag lunch lady with the long hair growing out of your mole????

Happy to hear today was better for you. If Ryley doesn't get comfy by herself can you change and put all three togther??

RilDakMad's Mommy said...

I am glad to hear today was a little better for you. Can you move Ryley in with the boys?

Malena said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I cannot imagine having all kids out of the house & in school - like yours - it must be really surreal!
For the brown outfits...the boys were just Ralph Lauren polos and my girl's dress is from Gap. I found my dress (I wore it more like a tunic) at Marshalls. It was a lot of fun to all match. Hubby wore a brown Nautica shirt too ;)